Dear me, six months ago

So, right now you’ve got crutches you don’t know how to use. A moon boot that is painful to even stand in. A foot that’s purple. And a couple of races you were on track to PB in that you now need to pull out from. Things feel pretty scary. That’s ok. The uncertainty will be biggest at the beginning, then it’ll settle down and you’ll adjust to a new rhythm.. You’re about to have the most formative training “block” so far. You don’t need me to tell you what to do - you’ll find your way. If you do need something, here’s some things I’ve learnt along the way.

You’ll be worried about what happens to your body when you stop running. That might make you feel weird about food. You might be tempted to track what you eat. Whatever you do, remember this. When your body is healing - especially when that involves healing broken bones - it’s really important that you’re not in a calorie deficit. Your body needs fuel - so look after yourself, eat nourishing food, and trust that your body will look after you too.

Find a great physio. And don’t wait too long. You might think there’s no point going in the first few weeks because you’re so immobile. The hospital staff will tell you to rest for 4-6 weeks and you’ll worry you’ll go crazy. Find a physio that you trust, that gets your need to “do” - they’ll be with you for the journey. It’ll cost a lot of money, but it’s a great investment if you can.

“What are your hopes for this time?” will be the most helpful question you’re asked. Your instinct might be to say “get back to running quickly” and then you’ll realise that it might actually be something else. For me, the hope was to not be reliant on running to feel good in myself. By the time I could run again, I wanted to do it because I wanted to, not because I needed to.

Movement is medicine. Even doing a little something helps you feel yourself. Running is just one way - there’s plenty of others. YouTube is your friend for finding adapted exercises - like 10 minute upper body weight exercises and moonboot adapted core workouts. Ask your friends for their reccos - Fluidform is a great app for adapted pilates. It’ll feel like an age before you can get on the spin bike, but once you do you won’t look back. Don’t quantify every split - get a heart rate monitor and keep it simple. Finding a way to sweat is good for the soul. You’ll find a love for strength training.

Keep the structure of your usual plan (once you can move properly). Long cycle on the weekend. Something sprinty (e.g. ski erg) on track night. Make strength work and physio rehab part of that habit. When you get back to running, you’ll realise how strong all that strength work made you.

That said, don’t underestimate the rest your body needs. You’ll feel like you want to keep moving from the off, but don’t push it. Some days you will do too much without meaning to - that’s ok. Keep an eye on your steps and notice how that correlates with the pain. Wearing the moonboot doesn’t mean you can walk infinite steps.

Connect with the running community - go to support races etc- but also, embrace not having to if and when you don’t want to. Mute people and whatsapp groups that make you feel worse. Social media will be frustrating at times. As will strava. Enjoy not having the pre-race nerves or pressure to succeed. This is recharge time. You’ll miss it when you’re dreading the next early session.

There will be setbacks. You’re not actually moving backwards. It’s just a windy journey forwards. Coming out of the boot is not the end. Respect that, get help, and take it by day. And soon, you’ll be back at it.

Let people love you. Connect with new people. Reach out to friends. Ask for help. Check in with them, and let them check in with you. And don’t get annoyed when they ask you how your “foot” is? What they mean is how are YOU dealing with foot.

Accept this will take time. You’ll hope it’s a 4-6 weeks thing. In reality, six months down the line, you’ll still be working through what’s happened. You won’t want to believe it when people say it to you - but expect the process. On the flip side, time won’t stand still. You won’t be hitting any new PB’s this year or hitting your intended mileage, but you’ll realise there are other ways to quantify success. What do you want them to be?

There’s a crack in everything - it’s where the light gets in. This experience will connect you to new people, new ideas, new hopes, new projects, new opportunities. New ways of moving. New skills. New understanding. Let it all unfold.

Oh, and there will be days it’s crap. That’s fair. Feel the frustration. Maybe keep a journal. You never know where the words might come in handy….

PS - just say yes to the wheelchair at the airport. No one wins when you’re stubborn.