You are the problem I never wanted. You frustrate me, you make me angry, you make me resentful and, on the hard days, you make me afraid I’ll never be able to do it all. I have always been a doer, driven by curiosity, adventure and a joy of learning. Finding myself is a position where I was not able to simply do something because I wanted to was therefore quite confronting.

You came into my life at an inconvenient time when training to achieve a goal was my anchor in the otherwise vast ocean of uncertainty I found myself in. At first I thought you were just a short temporary niggle that would be gone in a week or so I could get back to doing. Instead I learnt that my drive to do do do (and not listen to my body) is what caused you in the first place and you were going to be around for awhile.

Since making your acquaintance I have oscillated between extreme motivation to get rid of you and the fear that I never would. As someone who some may say can be rather competitive I didn’t want to let you win and channeled a lot of positive self talk to you during my rehab – that I was making myself stronger, building up my body and its tolerance so when I got back to running I would be a better version of myself.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing however – I have had countless regressions and, at times, it has felt 1 step forward, 2 steps back. In those moments it was hard to not let you crowd out my mind with negativity.

Despite your attempts, you will never stop me doing, and I am learning that doing can be achieved in all different ways – so while I can’t run as far as I would like to, I can do other things that keep me curious and fill up my love of adventure and learning.

By not being able to do all the time, I have learnt to slow down, to listen to my body and the importance of rest and recovery. I have become more mindful and created space to explore other interests and hobbies and I have you, my problem, to thank for that.